So you’ve got a guy you’re friends with and somewhere along the line you develop feelings for him. Unfortunately, he only sees you as a friend.
Tough situation. It happens to guys and it happens to girls and oftentimes, it can cause more heartbreak than an actual breakup.
Why?
Well maybe one (or all) of these scenarios apply to your situation. You get along better with him than anyone else. You “get” each other. He’s the only guy that you’ve ever felt truly understands you and with whom you can truly be yourself. He’s cute, he’s funny, and when he’s around you, he completely lets his guard down. You get to see him as the man he truly is – an unguarded version of himself that he hides from the world and only seems to let you see.
You trust each other. You might even say that you love each other. And you love every little thing about him… you can talk for hours or even just be with each other in silence… and you know exactly what the other person is thinking.
So why, in the midst of this seemingly perfect situation, aren’t you any more than friends? Or worse, why (when you told him how you felt about him) does he say, “I really love you. You’re the most important girl in the world to me and I’ll always be there for you but I can’t be in a relationship with you – we need to just be friends.”
Well, I’ll give you a few reasons and I’ll also give you the ultimate pull-no-punches guide to getting out of the friend zone.
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Take The Quiz: Does He Like You?
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1. He’s Damaged Goods
There are some great guys out there that have had their heart broken one too many times. And by the time they’re in your life, they have a lot of unclaimed baggage that they have yet to resolve. It’s an “It’s not you, it’s me” situation, except it comes before any relationship has even happened.
Problem is, your feelings for him and what your relationship could be or should be are just an illusion. The reality is that when someone hasn’t healed past hurts and relationship wounds, they really aren’t ready to get into a new relationship. (For much more on this topic, make sure to read my article: How Guys Deal With Breakups)
Now there have been times where the so-called damaged guy jumps into a relationship seemingly out of the blue after months or even years of lamenting about how “damaged” he is.
This can happen for a few reasons:
1) The new girl he jumps in with completely takes him out of that “mode” or “funk” he was caught up in. See, while you were listening to him sulk about his broken heart and smoothing his hair, new girl appeared out of nowhere as a limited-edition item. She attracted him and in some way made it clear (usually without a word) that if he wants her, he needs to act now or lose his shot.
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